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~Thats Straight from L.A. (Lower Alabama)~

  Collards is green,
  my dog's name is Blue
  and I'm so lucky
  to have a sweet thang like you.

  Yore hair is like cornsilk
 a-flapping in the breeze.
 Softer than Blue's
 and without all them fleas.

  You move like the bass,
 which excite me in May.
 You ain't got no scales
 but I luv you anyway.
  Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
 jist a-fry'n in the pan.
 Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
 right out of the can.

  You have some'a yore teeth,
 for which I am proud;
 I hold my head high
 when we're in a crowd.

  On special occasions,
  when you shave under yore arms,
  well, I'm in hawg heaven,
 and awed by yore charms.

  Still them fellers at work,
  they all want to know,
 what I did to deserve
 such a purdy, young doe.

  Like a good roll of duct tape
 yo're there fer yore man,
 to patch up life's troubles
 and fix what you can.

  Yo're as cute as a junebug
 a-buzzin' overhead.
 You ain't mean like those far ants
 I found in my bed.

  Cut from the best cloth
 like a plaid flannel shirt,
 you spark up my life
 more than a fresh load of dirt.

  When you hold me real tight
 like a padded gunrack,
 my life is complete;
 Ain't nuttin' I lack.

  Yore complexion, it's perfection,
 like the best vinyl sidin'.
 despite all the years,
 yore age, it keeps hidin'.

  Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
 with a RC cold drank,
 we go together
 like a skunk goes with stank.

  Some men, they buy chocolate
 for Valentine's Day;
 They git it at Wal-Mart,
 it's romantic that way.

  Some men git roses
 on that special day
 from the cooler at Kroger.
 "That's impressive," I say.

  Some men buy fine diamonds
 from a flea market booth.
 "Diamonds are forever,"
 they explain, suave and couth.

  But for this man, honey,
 these won't do.
 Cause yor'e too special,
 you sweet thang you.

  I got you a gift,
 without taste nor odor,
 more useful than diamonds...

   Luv, from yor romeo